NFL Draft, Valspar, and the fucking Derby
(don't sleep on Formula 1)
We’ve got lots to talk about! But first and foremost, it’s Draft Week. I’d wager to say most people don’t appreciate how fun of an event this is to gamble on, and we are going to do our best to educate the uninformed and change that narrative. Get to your nearest sports book or text your bookie to see what’s available. This year could be WHACKY. Throw some darts!
No no no, we are not going to dissect every pick and bore you with a gambling “mock draft”. But there are some decent spots to try and get cute with value plays. Here’s our thinking for the first few picks:
1 – Yes, it’s Trevor.
2 – Ehhhh. Zach Wilson is -5000 to be picked here, but he’s also +1000 to be the third pick. Would it really shock you if the Jets went Fields or someone over Zach? Not us. Regardless, we don’t advise anything.
3 – Here’s where the draft really starts! Niners traded up to get ahead of the Falcons. Somehow news leaked that Mac Jones is their guy, even though Shanahan is notorious for running a tight ship and keeping his cards close to his chest. We are calling BULLSHIT here. Smoke screen city. Mac Jones is now -300. Gun to our head, okay fine, guess he’s the pick. But as of now we aren’t being held hostage, so we say the pick is… Pitts Pitts Pitts! That’s right, Kyle Pitts, the overall best player in the draft. The freak of the freaks. Instant Hall of Famer. Sure the Niners have Kittle already, so what? How do you stop an offense with Kittle AND Pitts? Fuck if we know. Probably doesn’t matter who the QB is. Pitts is +3400 to go 3rd overall. It’s worth the pizza money.
4 – If Pitts doesn’t go 3rd, he’s probably going 4th. However…it doesn’t hurt to take Penei Sewell here at +2400. All things considered, do the Falcons really need another playmaker? No. They need Oline. Our guess is someone trades up for Pitts. If the Falcons stay put, then Penei could def be the move.
Almost done with the Pitts slurping, but before we move on we must note that our favorite and heaviest bet is Pitts UNDER 5.5. This was -170 when we got it, but last we checked it’s now -250. Just close your eyes and pound it.
A few of our other favorite picks:
The Trask Trade up: Over 5.5 QB’s taken in the first round +460. Come on. You’re telling me NOBODY is going to trade up for someone? Love those odds. Again, this year should be WHACKY!
Christian Barrmore first D lineman +600 – is there a clear cut favorite for the D line? Not that we’ve seen. Don’t forget the Raiders drafted Clelin Ferrell 4th overall a few years ago. Teams DO like to outsmart themselves. Fuck it – take the guy from Bama.
Asanti Samuel Jr first CB taken +3100 – Throw the dart!
Toney under 29.5 EVEN – Guy seems like a playmaker. Everyone wants a playmaker late in the first round.
Valspar Championship
The Copperhead Course at Innisbrook Resort in Palm Harbor, FL. A better field than usual this year as players are gearing back up for the 2nd Major of the year in 3 weeks at Kiawah. Innisbrook is long and tight. Just like me and my wife (Hehe) . A tougher test than your average PGA venue, don’t expect someone to run away with this thing.
Most commonly known for its last 3 holes, the Snake Pit provides a tough closing stretch with a tight dog leg par 4 on 16, a long par 3 at 17, and a skinny par 4 on the last hole with big bunkers protecting the 18th green.
Here are the picks, and spoiler alert: we just can’t get enough Sungjae:
Sungjae +3000 – Fucking Sungjae. Guy is all over the place. But, Vegas is giving him respect. Gotta be a reason for it. There is no way in hell we will be without an Im ticket when this fucker finally wins one. Keep riding!
Paul Casey +2200 – Why is this guy’s odds so low? Again, must be a reason.
Abraham Ancer +3300 – Another dude who has played some good golf and might be ready to get over the hump.
Hudson Swafford +12500 - …I dunno man, he’s got a private school name. Just do it.
AND The Kentucky Derby is this weekend?! Christ we are going to need some cocai…red bull. The only research we did here was text our horse guy*. Yes, we have a horse guy. He knows who he is. “Essential Quality is going to win”. So, there you have it.
*Not a real Centaur
In closing, we must inform all our readers that we’ve taken a liking (fucking loving) to Formula 1, and we think you should too. There’s a race this Sunday am at 10am. Watch it if you can. More importantly, watch the Netflix series. No pick this week, still getting the lay of the land (and trying to find an international bookie to take the action). It is FUN.