Playoff Fucking Hockey
The best postseason in sports
A bit of a new format as Covid is limiting travel. Teams will continue to play through their new divisions until we are down to a “Final Four”. Not going overboard yet, but we’ll break down the series and provide a few futures for the playoff run. First game is Saturday night - what a wonderful two month journey we are about to begin!
The North Division
Leafs -310 vs Canadiens +240
Season Series: 7-2 Leafs
Let’s start this off with the heaviest favorite on the board. The Leafs are good. Austin Matthews is an absolute stud, scoring 40 goals in 50 games. We thought it was their year in 2020, but seems as though we were a bit early. The lingering issue has always been goal-tending. Frederick Anderson stinks, but they’ve caught fire this year with Jack Campbell (17-2-2). The problem is this guy’s got zero playoff experience. That’s the big apprehension with laying the big number here.
Meanwhile the Habs have been up and down this year. Can’t help but roll our eyes when hearing Carey Prices name. When hes’ hot, he’s fucking hot; but when he’s cold this team is toast. Pick one dickhead. The most important thing to note here if you want to get cute with the Canadiens is that they get Brendan Gallagher (bad ass winger) back. They were 17-9-9 with him and 7-11 without. The Leafs dominated the seasons series 7-2. With all that said, our logic here is simply…fuck the Leafs!
The pick: Canadiens in 7
Oilers -200 vs Jets +160
Season Series: Oilers 7-2
This is a bit tricky. The Oilers absolutely owned the Jets this year, going 7-2 in the season series. McDavid has been playing out of his mind. The Jets don’t have the superstars, but they’ve got the goal-tending. Connor Hellebuyck is a sex machine, last years top goalie, and has the ability to be a brick wall. Dude regularly stands on his head. The Oilers have Mike Smith in net who is old as fuck and amazingly mediocre. Zero confidence in him for a deep run, but not going to overthink it.
Bet the offense here. Sprinkle a little on Oilers to win it all 17/1, as we like them to emerge from the West. Why not Edmonton?!
The Pick: Oilers in 6
The Central Division
Hurricanes -265 vs Predators +215
Season Series: Canes 6-2
Not worth a long write up - just lay the cheese. Hurricanes are one of the best teams in the league and the top seed in the East. They won the season series 6-2 against the Preds. They’ve also got Dougie Hamilton, who’s name is just cool as fuck. That’s all you need to know.
The Pick: Canes in 5
Lightning -160 vs Panthers +140
Season Series: Panthers 5-3
Hold onto your dicks because this series is going to be awesome. These teams played each other to end the year and things got chippy. Expect some old school hockey in this one. The Panthers were one of the most surprising stories in the NHL, and had the Lightning’s number going 5-3 in the season series. You need to know two names: Alexander Barkov and Nikita Kucherov. Barkov is the Panthers best player and one of the best in the league. He’s having a stellar year. Kucherov is SCARY, and has missed almost the whole year with injury. His return will certainly benefit the Bolts, and should give them a spark. They also get Stamkos back who’s been out for the last month. Love the story in Sunrise, FL but the Bolts are the right side. Being heavy favorites despite losing the season series AND being on the road, should tell you everything you need to know. Panthers are the trendy dog.
The Pick: Bolts in 6
The Penguins -150 vs Islanders +120
Season Series: Penguins 6-2
The fucking Penguins. Lost to the 12th seeded Canadiens in 2020, and swept by the Islanders in 2019. This is the ULTIMATE revenge spot, and we are here for it.
The Penguins won the season series 6-2. But beware they are a very frustrating team to bet on in the playoffs. Somehow their dicks shrivel up and play soft. Their talent and finesse doesn’t usually overcome the toughness from the other side, and the Isles have plenty of it. Keep an eye on Barzal – he’s an absolute blast to watch. Pens picked up a bit of momentum playing very well to end the year, and they got some great goaltending out of Jary. This is the playoffs though, and he’s only got one game of experience. We don’t feel strongly about this one. No shame in passing!
The Pick: Pass
Bruins -160 vs. Caps +140
Season Series: Tied 4-4
This should be a fun series to watch. The Bruins top line is arguably the best in the league, but the Caps have more depth. We like the B’s here simply because of Tuuka. He’s got the experience and the chip on his shoulder after all the negative press for opting out of 2020 postseason. Honestly couldn’t even tell you who’s starting for the Caps. How do you like those apples?
The Pick: Bruins in 5
West Division:
Avalanche -440 vs. Blues +320
Colorado is the best team in the league (in our opinion) and our favorite pick to win it all (+370). If they stay healthy, they won’t be stopped. Nothing else worth noting.
The Pick: Avs in 5
Golden Knights -255 vs. Wild +205
This might be the best series to keep an eye on. People are going to be tempted to take the Wild here. And rightfully so - they are a sexy sleeper and have been hot. BUT! the Knights are the better team, and you know how we feel about trendy dogs.
The Pick: Knights in 7