The Degenerate
March Madness and one stone cold lock for the Honda Classic
Look, I’m sure you’ve just about had it with bracket info. We aren’t here to pretend that we’ve watched college basketball all year and can tell you the strengths and weaknesses of Abilene Christian (take em +8.5 though) . Let’s keep it as short and as sweet as possible. We’ll give you our futures to win it all, a handful of our favorite round 1 picks and a few games/teams to avoid. As always - follow us on Twitter bc there’s enough action this weekend to make Rambo look like fucking Bambi. We got 48 elimination games on the horizon. If that doesn’t get you excited, nothing will.
Futures - For all the marbles:
Baylor +500 – You need to have one high seed in your arsenal. Gonzaga at +115 is absolutely insane. We’d rather just pound them ML in the big game than back them throughout the tourney at that number. Baylor has not been the same team since the Covid layoff, but consider their recent games like tournament preseason. They’ll return to form.
Ohio State +1700 – Betting on the Buckeyes can be very frustrating, but they are capable of beating anyone, and at the same time capable of losing to Oral Roberts in the first round. The bet here is on talent at good value, and a prayer they are actually figuring it out.
Texas +2000 – The win over Texas Tech in the Big 12 Tourney could be just what this team needed to put em over the hump. Can’t help but love Shaka Smart.
West Virginia +2800 – This team can hang with anyone. Sure, they’re 18-9, but take a look at their losses. The last 7 have been by an average of 4 points, and all to top teams (Ok St twice, Kansas, OU twice and Kansas). They also played Gonzaga early in the year and only lost by 5.
UConn +2800 – They’ve got the stud in Bouknight, just couldn’t figure out Creighton. Lost to them all 3 times this year.
First round bets:
Thursday night is for the hors d’voeuvre’s (Jesus that’s a difficult word to spell). Don’t go crazy, but dip your toe in the water. Nice and easy start to the weekend. Drake +1 and UCLA +2.5 is what we like. Just enough to let the waiter know you’re here for a 5 hour dinner with all the fixin’s.
FAVORITES
Colorado ML – Gtown was hot and will be a trendy underdog pick at +5. Don’t fall for it.
Virginia ML – I’m sure most won’t have the stones to lay the juice here (-350), but even Brandon’s grandma is on Ohio +7.5. So what… Virginia has a few guys dealing with Rona and they are traveling to tourney late - bet on Covid here.
Virginia Tech PK – A sneaky good 10 seed. Public is all over UF.
Rutgers ML – Despite Clemson losing as a 9 point favorite to Miami in the ACC tournament, they are actually decent. But when a 10 seed is the favorite against the 7…there’s a reason.
Tennessee -8 – Oregon State is a stinky team who just got hot at the right time in the Pac-12 tourney. They come back down to earth and get whacked in the first round. Go Vols.
Loyola Chicago -3.5 – This might be the fishiest line of the first round. No reason for Loyola to be the favorite against the ACC Champ Georgia Tech.
FSU -10.5 – This team is dumb as fuck and couldn’t figure out the zone against Georgia Tech, but they are still pretty damn good. That’ll show against…(checks notes)…UNC Greensboro.
UNDERDOGS
VCU +6 – Oregon and the Pac-12 are charmin soft. If you don’t know it learn the name - Nah’Shon “Bones” Hyland.
Eastern Washington +10.5 – This dog has some bite.
St Bonaventure +1.5 – Trap! LSU looked damn good in the SEC tourney, but they are big fat phonies. This line is short for a reason. Back the Bonnies.
Utah State +4.5 – Texas Tech has an impressive resume. Utah State does not. This number is too low. Vegas knows something!
Abilene Christian +8.5 – Hey look who it is! All we know is Texas is good and 8.5 isn’t enough.
HARD PASS:
Mizz/Oklahoma
UNC/Wisconson
…don’t force it!
And in closing, The Honda Classic is this weekend. Most of the big boys are sitting this one out. But trust us, at some point this weekend you are going to want to unplug from the non-stop college hoops carousel and watch a little golf (pro-tip, if you find yourself in a rut do exactly this for a round of games, helps to avoid digging deeper on tilt. Then you can come back to the action a little clearer.) Your betting favorite is Daniel Berger at +1000 and the second favorite is none other than a Degen favorite Sungjae Im at +1200. We LOVE Sungjae this weekend. If you want to throw some darts, we also like:
Lowry 28/1
Steele 40/1
Poston 65/1
That’s all folks!